


A Guide to Self Destruction

by DancingInRedShoes



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Rehabilitation, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:09:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9279380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingInRedShoes/pseuds/DancingInRedShoes
Summary: Harumichi Rehab AU (Written for DocHolligay for her SPARKLE SPARKLE Harumichi Gift Exchange)





	1. The Beginning

Rehab was a joke. What else could it be if those in charge were just as damaged as those they were supposed to be helping? The night shift had never been pleasant to her health, not even when she started. Of course, back then Haruka had just been the newbie: only stuck on night shift since she had no seniority. It was awful, but it paid enough to get her a real apartment, her own apartment. She was finally free of her mother’s house and eventually, if she just kept pushing through, she would amass enough time to be free from this terrible eternal night.

But then her Gran fell. She had been the one to take her to the ER. She was the one who had to listen to the doctors explain that this fall was just a symptom of something far worse. She had cried alone in the bathroom trying to process it all.

It was probably then that she started cutting again. There, in the poorly lit ER bathroom, she used her Swiss army knife to open a thin red line across her belly. As the blood welled up, she could hear it whisper promises of control and release. Haruka just cleaned it up and headed back to her Gran’s room.

From there on, she took over as her Gran’s primary care giver. It’s not like anyone else in the family was going to. She set up Gran in her bed and took to sleeping on the couch. She was fine helping Gran in the toilet or after she was sick—she had become immune to bodily fluids from work. Haruka learned to subsist in coffee alone and used all of the money she had to feed and medicate her. She signed up for the night shift indefinitely in order to scrape together just a little bit more.

Do you know what it’s like to try to live on almost no sleep? Haruka guessed it was similar to being raised from the dead; she was functioning but most of what made her her was gone or wrong now. So the cutting never really went away. She had meant to stop when she brought Gran home, but it honestly had just gotten worse.

Every night during her break time, she would sneak off to one of the less used bathrooms and draw little lines on her skin. Yes she knew it was a bad way to exercise control and blah blah blah… But, God, it was the only time in the day that she did something for her self. With every little red track revealed, she would release a little rush of joy.

But it all changed when she got interrupted by a patient. And not just any patient, but the one that was incredibly gorgeous to boot! Haruka didn’t understand at all why, instead of bolting or ratting her out or even making fun of her, this woman helped her clean up the cuts and just talked with her.

And she came back the next night and the one after that and so on. And Haruka found herself drowning in Michiru’s eyes and the sound of her voice. She knew that this had moved beyond acceptable patient/orderly friendliness, but it was so easy to trade one harm for another. So, when Michiru first went up on tiptoes to kiss her, Haruka didn’t even try to resist. She just fell.


	2. The Ending

Rehab was a farce, just like everything else. Her parents had never taken interest in her life until her frivolities found their way into the tabloids. What she did behind closed doors had always been fine until it began to taint the public image her parents had painted. So they publicly lamented and leaked pictures of her checking into rehab to the press while, behind closed doors, Michiru had lost both her financial stream and her medical autonomy. She still wasn’t quite sure which she was more miffed at.

At least she had been given a private room. When she was released from counseling or group “enrichment”, she would retreat to solitude. When she decided to entertain, it was in her single. When she had left her room earlier, it had still been a private room.

So there was no reason for another patient to be reclining on her bed eating pudding.

“Excuse me, but you appear to have mistaken my room for yours. Would you please leave?” It wasn’t a request, but, in response, the other patient sucked on her spoon for a moment and released it with a pop.

“Nope.”

At the beginning of her stay, Michiru would have enjoyed breaking this girl. Putting the full force of her anger into the cat and mouse games that would keep this annoying addict from ever looking her way without cringing would have a fair substitute for her captors. But tonight had been nice. The past few weeks had been nice. The feel of running her hands through soft blonde hair, the ache in her calves from reaching up on tiptoe, the warmth of lips against hers whispering her name. No, she would rather use her energy on remembering the thrill and buzz, not dealing with a problem.

She pulled her shawl around her shoulders and crossed the room to the call button.

“Dr. Meiou is dealing with another patient, and Nurse Hino is taking her fifteen minute break now. It’s a waste hitting the call button; no one is going to answer.”

Michiru turned back to the intruder but stayed near the call button.

“What an interesting answer. For what reason do you know the night nurse’s schedule?” The girl on the bed sat up and smiled.

“I’m a people person. I’m a night owl. And,” she twirled her spoon. “I’m in here often.”

“So what does a insomniac repeat addict want?”

“I want you to stop.” All humor dropped from the interloper’s voice. Leaving her trash on the bed, she got up and leaned against the wall facing Michiru. “For the past week, you have been sleeping with Haruka, and you need to break it off. Now.”

Michiru’s cheeks reddened, but she kept the shock out of her voice.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business–”

“It’s not. It’s not any of my business if a patient and an orderly are having an affair. But did you know that Haruka’s grandmother is ill? That the only reason her grandmother receives good care is because Haruka is looking after her herself? Do you know how much she makes a year as an orderly? How the only reason she works nights is it pays just a little bit more? How even with that she can barely afford her box of an apartment and food let alone deal with an ailing relative to boot?” She slammed her fist into the wall near Michiru’s face and leaned in close. “I’m in intimate contact with rich bastards like you all of the time, and I’ve seen first hand how you work. This is all a cute distraction from how dull this retreat mummy and daddy sent you on is but when this all comes to light—and it always does—it’s not people like you who deal with the fall out. It’s people like her. A budget cut is enough to fire her. A scandal? That would be her career.”

Michiru clenched her hands to keep them from shaking, “D-don’t think you can threaten me!”

The girl just laughed and pulled back.

“If I thought I could make you run, I’d have already hidden the drugs in your room or beat that pretty face.” She reached behind her and adjusted the bright red bow in her hair. “What’s fucked up is that I actually think you like her—and I get it, she is easy to like. So I’m throwing all of my money away on the chance that you like her enough to not want to hurt her.”

She walked to the door of the room and turned to blow back a kiss. “And don’t let that be a wasted bet.”

The whirlwind left the room and Michiru stayed against the wall. She could see the obvious carrot and stick tactic—it wouldn’t be hard to maneuver against it, to retaliate, to continue on with those sweet caresses. Instead, she rose, got into bed, and let the taste of a kiss go cold on her lips.


End file.
